Wednesday, November 9, 2016

How I Am Becoming A More "At Peace" Stay At Home Mom

Some days I really want to trade places with my husband. As an extrovert I am energized and a bit jealous of the idea that he gets “out” with people older than 3 most days of the week. But he is a dentist, and I don’t think I could put my hands in people’s mouths all day, so I decide my current gig as stay at home mommy will do. Then my two, sweet, innocent, energetic boys bound into my bed with me while my husband is having to walk out the door and I am again reminded that I have the best job on Earth right now. Raising them is the most important job I’ll have and I am so grateful to have this time at home with them.

It dawned on me the other day while I was folding laundry, that I am feeling at peace. In the past 3 years since I became a mom, there has been a lot of transition in our life. Several moves, new jobs, moves closer to family, then away from them, and the birth of our second son. My older son was starting to think it was normal to live in a new house each year. But now we are finally home and working tirelessly to show our boys that this is where we are planting roots.

A brand new SAHM mom - only a few weeks into the gig

When I decided to stay home a little over a year ago, I was told by several of my more veteran stay at home mommy friends that I would have to work at being a SAHM. I thought I knew what that meant, but I now have a new appreciation for their advice. So here are a few things I’ve learned about being at home. I hope they help someone else find their peaceful place too.

  1. Go out every day. If you want to. If you are an extrovert like me I have to get out of the house. I get cranky and I think somehow I pass that onto my boys if we are in the house too long. Some say I don’t know how to relax; I say I find it relaxing to be out and about. It doesn’t matter where we go but we hit up the usual suspects of all SAHM: the playground, library, Target, children’s museum, Costco, grocery store etc.

  1. Find a mom’s group. This can be hard. In our previous town I found it very hard to get connected with local moms. I finally found a MOPS group and just having a place to go (see point # 1) every Tuesday was huge for me. In our new “forever” home I wasted no time finding a mom’s group. Sadly there was no MOPS group, but luckily I was connected with a playgroup at the church we have been attending. Talking to other moms face to face on a weekly basis is so good for the mommy soul.

  1. Advocate for what you need to be happy. I have always known that exercise keeps me sane. As I became a mom I let that go, and it was a huge mistake. So when we moved we made sure to find and join a local gym that has childcare. As we embark on the cold season, I feel relieved knowing we have a place to go (again see point # 1) when me or the kids get stir crazy. Win win!

Being a SAHM mom does require putting in effort to surround yourself with what you need. If you don’t make an effort, you will be lonely, and I don’t think lonely moms thrive. It takes a little while to find your SAHM groove. What have you learned about being a SAHM that you would pass on? Because being a more at peace mom is a wonderful feeling.

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